Rosemary`s Babies and Primary Flashbacks…

Wow, sounds like something circa 1969 dont it!

I had wanted to write another idylic fluffy piece on having a lovely day in the sunny garden yesterday- digging and repotting, but I can`t because the past just  came flooding back, and I need a bit of a purge.

When Jessie came home this afternoon, she greeted me with “Zo, i`ve got some bad news. Rhys broke my rubber into loads of tiny pieces this afternoon”. I asked her if she told the teacher. She shook her head.Then I asked her if she saw Rhys doing it. She said she did- but when she asked him why, he had said he had`nt done  it.

This all immediately whizzed me back to being Jessie`s age in school once more.

When i went into the second year of infants school, I was already very much into drawing and writing, and not having very good equipment to use at school, I decided I would take my own pencil case in.

Cutting to the chase, things started to go missing. One week it was the coloured pencil that was made of 7 different little pencils that locked together. Another week it was my pencil with a little bird on top. Then went a rainbow rubber. It went on and on. And I got more upset. I told my teacher, thinking that she would help me find my things- I never for one minute thought that somebody could have been stealing from me.

 Instead of helping me, to my utter shock, the teacher told me off, saying it was my own fault for bringing these things into the classroom! I remember the feeling of disbelief, and utter deflation. The teacher didnt help me. She let me down.

I became suspicious of my classmates and teacher, and I think fair to say, quite withdrawn.

I didnt want to be in school with this woman, who obviously didnt care a jot, and to make things worse, I could see the chimney of our house far among the trees, from looking through the classroom window. I started getting upset- a mixture of homesickness and helplessness. I made such a fuss at lunchtime that the teachers seated me in the classroom, seperate from the other kids. I dont know how many times this happened, but I remember it.

And so, there is the background to this thing that is bubbling in me.I know its not the same, but it was like invisible bullying to me, reinforced by the teacher. I dont want Jessie to be frightened to tell the teacher if someone is picking on her, but I dont want her to be a snitch. I really don`t want someone to be trying her out, to see how much she will take before the thing moves up a level, and turns into bullying. She is just so easy going, she sees no wrong in people, just as I did…

Well, its a tricky old subject. Who knows why kids bully, and why some kids take it. Is it a pecking order thing? Is it to do with family issues? Children can be so cruel..

once was a flower shape..Thanks Rhys!

I know its just a rubber. I`m trying not to be petty. It the destruction of someone elses stuff that gets up my nose.

Here endeth the sermon. Thanks for listening. Hey, comment if you like. Does this strike a chord with you? Am I being an arse?

Until next time,

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~ by Zoe on February 24, 2012.

3 Responses to “Rosemary`s Babies and Primary Flashbacks…”

  1. Lol would you believe this had a fair bit of resonance for me at the minute Zo. I’m sure Jessie will be ok, just keep an eye on it. Sure makes you mad though. Can’t stand bullies xo

  2. Just realised- The Rosemary`s Babies bit of the title was to do with the cuttings which I was going to wax lyrical about. Hey ho- it will soon be that time again!

  3. I can relate to this post too. Not just the distruction and theft but the being let down by teachers too. I hope Jess isn’t too upset and that she’s able to tell her teacher if it happens again. I also hope the tracher doesn’t dismiss it. I’m with you on the wanton distruction of someone elses stuff; the value of the item is irrelevent.

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